Unyielding Laws of Our Nature....

'All submerged body in the bathtub will ring the phone' (Gonnakillmeesel's Law)
'Everyone gracefully sat on the toilet will forcefully set off the door bell'. (Cannot Througshit's Law)
'When you need to open that door with only one hand available, the key will stand in your opposed
pocket' (Donumberto Sea's Law)
'The one and only time the door slams closed by itself is always when you forget your keys inside'
(Ohmigod W. -for Whatablackangst- Destiny's Law).
'When you get your hand dirty with the blackest grease, your nose inevitably gets hot' (Ohmigod
Gotohell's Law).
'Your insurance policy covers it all, excepting what happened' (Dadsrun Onjourcount's Law)
'If things seem to go better, you've just forgot something' (Fucked Fuckingbad's Axiom)
'If you are calmed down when everybody else go nuts, you are over the moon and cannot see
thoroughly' (Youdonot Getit's Axiom).
'Troubles do not appear out of the blue, nor get resolved by themselves, they just move on.... usually
shitting over you' (Thisisnot Alife's Law)
'You never arrive to the phone in time to hang it down...... You just hear it hanging up' (Ring Rang's
Principle)
'Each time you plan on an Internet dialing-up connection, that long awaited call will income'
(Good Timingman's Principle).
'If just two TV channels are worthwhile, they always get programmed at the very same time'
(Datsaah Balls' Law).
'The more clean you need to be, the more dirty you'll get eating' (Watta Stain's Law)
Alternative statement: 'The likelihood of get dirty when you are eating is directly proportional to
your eagerness to remain clean' (Watta's Son, once he got the zillionth stain, and before he
committed suicide...)
'The more expensive your hairstyle gets, the stronger that damn wind blows' (Llongueras'
Principle).
'Once you make that long time awaited choice, to throw away that damn useless thing, it'll pass no
more that a single week to discover how essential now it is' (Mader Foeker's Law).
'If you get in time to an important date, nobody stands for accounting it, but for your late arrival,
everybody will arrive before you and they will curse on you' (Dayegot Rolex's Principle).
'Do not get life so seriously, actually you will not get out of it alive' (Deadtohole Alivetoenjoy's
Theorem).

This was a '0.9-version' translation, more or less imaginative one, from an original in Spanish received by some WhatsApp group...... As I said then, improvements are encouraged, towards the 1.0-version and beyond!

The original says:

'TODO CUERPO SUMERGIDO EN LA BAÑERA HARÁ SONAR EL TELÉFONO'. (Ley de Mevi

Amatar)

'TODO CUERPO SENTADO EN EL INODORO HARÁ SONAR EL TIMBRE DE LA PUERTA'. (Ley de

Nicagar Puedeuno)

'CUANDO NECESITES ABRIR UNA PUERTA CON LA ÚNICA MANO LIBRE , LA LLAVE ESTARÁ EN

EL BOLSILLO OPUESTO'

(Ley de Mecago Enlamar)

'LA ÚNICA VEZ QUE LA PUERTA SE CIERRA SOLA ES CUANDO HAS DEJADO LAS LLAVES

DENTRO'. (Ley de Angustias Negro Destino)

'CUANDO TENGAS LAS MANOS LLENAS DE GRASA, TE COMENZARÁ A PICAR LA NARIZ'. (Ley

de Vayusté Pordiós)

'EL SEGURO LO CUBRE TODO. MENOS LO QUE TE SUCEDIÓ' (Ley de Esoco Rede Sucuenta)

'CUANDO LAS COSAS PARECEN IR MEJOR, ES QUE HAS PASADO ALGO POR ALTO'. (Axioma de

Chungo Palos Pollos)

'SI MANTIENES LA CALMA CUANDO TODOS PIERDEN LA CABEZA , SIN DUDA ES QUE NO HAS

CAPTADO LA GRAVEDAD DEL PROBLEMA'. (Axioma de Noten Teras)

'LOS PROBLEMAS NI SE CREAN, NI SE RESUELVEN, SÓLO SE TRANSFORMAN'. (Ley de Esto

Noesvida)

'LLEGARÁS CORRIENDO AL TELÉFONO JUSTO A TIEMPO PARA OÍR COMO CUELGAN'.

(Principio de Rinrin)

'SIEMPRE QUE TE VAYAS A CONECTAR A INTERNET, SE PRODUCIRÁ LA LLAMADA QUE HABÍAS

ESTADO ESPERANDO DURANTE TODO EL DÍA'. (Principio de Justo Ahora Hombre)

'SI SOLO HAY DOS PROGRAMAS EN LA TELE QUE VALGAN LA PENA VER , SERÁN A LA MISMA

HORA'. (Ley de Queco Jones Tienen)

' LA PROBABILIDAD DE QUE TE MANCHES COMIENDO, ES DIRECTAMENTE PROPORCIONAL A LA

NECESIDAD QUE TENGAS DE ESTAR LIMPIO'. (Ley de Menudo Lamparón)

' LA VELOCIDAD DEL VIENTO AUMENTA PROPORCIONALMENTE SEGUN HAYA SIDO EL PRECIO

DEL PEINADO'. (Principio de LLongueras)

'CUANDO TRAS AÑOS DE HABER GUARDADO UNA COSA SIN USARLA DECIDES TIRARLA, NO

PASARÁ MÁS DE UNA SEMANA SIN QUE LA NECESITES DE VERDAD'. (Ley de Lama Dreque

Loparió)

'SIEMPRE QUE LLEGUES PUNTUAL A UNA CITA NO HABRÁ NADIE ALLÍ PARA COMPROBARLO,Y

SI POR EL CONTRARIO LLEGAS TARDE, TODO EL MUNDO HABRÁ LLEGADO ANTES QUE TÚ Y

QUEDARÁS FATAL' (Principio de Longines)

'NO TE TOMES TAN EN SERIO LA VIDA , AL FIN Y AL CABO NO SALDRÁS VIVO DE ELLA'.

(Teorema de Muertoaloyo Vivoalbollo)